ByeBye, Nessie!
by ShootingStarNeoEevee
Summary: Yes, this is a hatefic. Renesmee goes to school and meets other half-vampires. Little does she know, they're not here to get an education. Flames are welcome.


Look, I know people hate to read overly long author's notes. So I'll leave the bulk of what I want to say for the end. Also, I am not responsible for writing the horror known as Renesmee into the world. That's Stephanie Meyer's fault. Go blame her.

This was written for all the awesome Anti-Twilighters in the world. And to all the Twilight fans who are even going to _think_ about flaming this, fuck you. :D

* * *

It hadn't been a universal decision, really.

For nearly a week, the Cullen house had been tipped upside-down by shouting matches, threats of violence, bargains and bribery, and the occasional intelligent debate. Bella didn't want Nessie going – she was too young, the other kids would notice her rapid aging and other unusual features, she'll be an outcast... But Edward was adamant: Renesmee was going to be a balanced little girl, and _she was going, no matter what. _

Bella eventually conceded. She could only argue with Edward for so long, anyway. Within a few weeks, everything was arranged: Nessie was going to elementary school.

"Class," said the teacher, as Renesmee stepped in, looking for all the world like a normal ten-year-old. Except for the fact her porcelain skin was completely flawless, her ruby tresses flowed behind her despite the obvious lack of wind, and her liquid topaz orbs twinkled with an I-know-something-you-don't-know type of look. Yet no one thought this was unusual at all – after all, humans are all idiots in this world. "This is our new student, Renesmee Cullen."

Yes, Nessie could feel the prepubescent boys' gazes following her as she took a seat. Yet she knew she was too good for them. No human would _ever_ be good enough for her. Nessie took a deep breath, despite not really needing too, and stretched in her seat. Yes, with the boys throwing themselves at her feet and the girls all envying her, this would be a cake walk. What was her mother ever afraid of?

But she could feel someone else in the room; another half-vampire, like her. Her special snowflake powers went berserk, it wasn't just one of them, but _three of them._

Nessie grinned, looking around. Her eyes were drawn to one of the boys who hadn't watched her come in. He was a few rows ahead of her, and seemed to be absent-mindedly doodling. His messy, shoulder-length red hair fell was pulled back into a braided ponytail. The boy seemed to feel Nessie's gaze after a while, and turned around to face her. He had large, blue eyes. Unusual for a half-vampire, she thought. Our eyes were usually red or gold.

Another one of the halflings caught the boy looking and followed his gaze. This one was a girl, who looked a little younger than the red-haired boy, with dark hair that looked as though it would normally be a floppy mess, and she'd managed half-successfully to tame it. She was wearing large, round glasses, and the light blue eyes (also highly unusual) behind them were giving Renesmee an icy glare. Nessie just smiled. She would introduce herself at recess.

When the bell rang and the class filed out to the playground, she followed the little group over to a shady corner. The dark-haired girl with the glasses and the red-haired boy, along with the other halfling from class, a boy with blond hair who looked like he could be the girl's sister, were joined by two others; another girl with dark hair and glasses, though she looked a little older, distinctly gentler, and definitely unrelated to the first girl, and a dainty-looking little girl with white-blond hair pulled into cute little pigtails, an odd curlie-cue that fell over her eyes, and a white plush wolf. Nessie skipped up to them. "Hi!" She chirped, ecstatic at being able to meet her own kind at the school.

The red-haired boy turned around. Nessie had a fangirl moment inside her mind. He was even cuter up close! Was this what her mother had felt when she met her father?

The boy smiled back at her, or rather tried to. It looked at though her presence was distinctly unsettling him. "Hi." He replied. "I take it... you're the new girl?"

Nessie nodded. "Yes! Renesmee Carlie Cullen!"

You'd think she'd just said a horrible swear-word, the way they reacted. The little girl and the older girl started, while the other three winced. The red-haired boy was the first to recover, with a quick, "Well.. I'm Franz. It's, er, nice to meet you."

The younger dark-haired girl shot Franz a look. He looked back, a look that must've said _follow my lead_, because she introduced herself next.

"I'm Sera. And this spaz," She gestured to the blond haired boy who looked like her brother, "is my twin brother Arthur." Arthur looked up. He'd been fiddling around with some kind of necklace, with a charm of a red crescent moon. He caught her looking, and tucked it back inside his shirt, smiling uneasily.

"Nice to see I'm not the only one who introduces myself with my full name." Said the older dark-haired girl, breaking into a Nessie's speculating on the necklace. She walked over to her and held out a hand, all the time giving off the impression that the friendliness was at least partially forced. "I'm Madeline. Madeline Alexandra Wolfe. Call me Maddy." Nessie shook Maddy's hand. "And who's your little friend?" She asked, looking at the little girl in pigtails.

"That's Mari." Said Sera. "That's with the emphasis on the second syllable. She hates it when you mispronounce it."

There was silence for a minute or two, then a little voice said, "You forgot Little Wolfy!"

Everyone looked at Mari. She looked indignant. "Wolfy doesn't like it when you forget him, Sera." She said simply, shifting her grip on the toy.

"Right..." Said Sera. "And Little Wolfy."

"Did you move here from out of town, or something?" Asked Nessie. "My parents never mentioned any other half-vampires in Forks." This was what she'd wanted to talk to them about since she'd approached them.

Sera raised an eyebrow. "You figured it out awful quick."

Nessie smiled. "My powers let me know."

"Right... powers..." Sera's hand twitched toward something around her neck, but then she seemed think better of what she doing and lowered it back to her side.

"So you're all half-vampire?" Asked Renesmee.

"Not all of us." Said Arthur. "Maddy's fully human. But Mari's..."

The little blond girl spoke up again, "I'm half a midian, half a lycanthrope!"

"What?"

"That's half vampire, half werewolf." Said Sera. "She sometimes forgets the rest of us don't speak war-waging nut job." The reference flew completely over Nessie's head, and there was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Franz attempted to break it. "So, Renesmee.. eh.."

"What do your parents do?" Finished Maddy.

"Well, my mom and dad live with my grandpa. He's a doctor. What about you guys?" Nessie added.

It was a casual enough question, but Nessie could tell she'd just brushed onto touchy territory.

"Well..." Franz started slowly. "You know how the Volturi keep people from finding out about vampires?"

"Yeah?"

"It's... something like that. It's how me, Sera, Arthur, and Maddy know each other. Our parents are in the same line of work."

Nessie cocked her head to the side. "But what about Mari?"

Franz grinned. "You could almost say... she's from a different world." Mari smiled at that, revealing her hybrid teeth, her incisors too sharp and her canines far too large for a normal girl.

The forced, back-and-forth conversation continued for the rest of recess before they were called inside. Sera looked over at her partner in crime as they walked to their next class.

"Can't we just shoot her now? I could go Dawn Warrior on her ass and we'd be done with her in half a minute..." She said.

"No," Said Franz, slipping from his eleven-and-a-half-year-old voice into something that suggested age beyond his young appearance. "We have to get her to let her guard, we'll never get a second chance with that family of hers. Besides, you can tell she likes me, so this won't take long." He added, flashing Sera a grin that showed his over-long vampire teeth. "Give it a day or two, we'll have her."

Sera sighed. "Alright... God, now I know why Neo always puts us on missions together, you're like my voice of reason."

The next day was quite uneventful, school wise. But of course, every day in this world is uneventful school wise, because no one cares about school in this world. Renesmee was skipping alongside Franz and the rest of his group, chattering happily.

"So, anyway, I don't really know why we vampires have to stay out of the sun. If we sparkle in the sunlight, and people expect us to spontaneously combust or something, why do we hide? I mean sure the blood-drinking thing would make us stand out, but who _actually_ expects a vampire to sparkle in the sunlight? Why would we not go out in the sun if no one expects us to sparkle?" She asked.

"You make a good point," Said Sera. "I know the Volturi would be pretty angry, but why would they be if no one expects a vampire to sparkle.. or whatever."

The little gang was walking home. Franz was, once again, the only one who seemed at ease around Nessie. And speaking of Franz...

"Hey," She said to him, "You wanna go... hang out in the forest later?

Franz glanced back to Sera (why was it he always checked for her approval? He was such a doormat sometimes...). She nodded, and he looked back at Nessie. "Alright."

"Great!" Nessie said, smiling. "You know where my grandpa Charlie lives? Captain Swan?" Franz nodded. "There's some forest by there, how 'bout you meet me there at sunset?"

Franz nodded. "Sure, sure."

Still smiling, Nessie skipped off down the path that led to home. Franz and buddies went down the other path. Franz looked at Sera again. "We'll get her at sunset. How's that?"

And, as is the natural course of things, the sun went down. Nessie paced around a small clearing waiting for her Franz to show up. The sun was brushing the horizon, and he should be here soon.

And show up he did. "Hey," he said as he stepped from around a tree. "So... What's up?"

Renesmee smiled. "Not much." She said, stepping closer. "So Franz... Do you believe in love at first sight?"

The boy reeled. "Uh, Renesmee... Nessie... This is a bit sudden, I-I only met you –"

"My mom found my dad the exact same way though! And so did Auntie Rose and Uncle Jasper and –"

"W-well, I didn't really come here to.." Franz took a deep breath. "I didn't come here for.. no reason. I'm here to do something."

"And that would be?"

"...Something involving you."

"Then it's alright!" Said Renesmee, smiling. "You –"

"No, Renesmee, it isn't like that!" Franz ran a hand through his hair. He was blushing furiously and pacing around. "Damn it, where the hell is Sera when I need her!"

"_What?" Nessie put her hands on her hips. "Why are you bringing Sera into this?" _

_Just then, Nessie heard a loud pair of ka-chiks, like a gun being cocked. And that was exactly what it was. Nessie turned around, to find Sera holding a pair of very large pistols. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen," She said, working hard to keep a fanged slasher smile (inherited directly from her father) off her face. "You have come to the attention of the Mary Sue Disposal Unit. You have been found guilty of defiling the barely establish canon of this universe, and being an enormous plot hole. We have determined that the speediest course of action would be to destroy you." She leveled one of the guns, a long, silver thing, at Renesmee's head, and fired. _

The bullet hit the girl square in the forehead. She crumpled to the ground. Franz grimaced. "I hate it when we have to kill them."

Sera looked at the body. "It's necessary. There are some that would've never recovered, even with character rehab." She suddenly grinned. "Good thing we can screw the canon rules too, or else this," she indicated the guns, "would never have worked."

"Eh," Said Franz. "At least she didn't try to violate me, like the last one."

"Alright, alright. Let's go contact the clean-up squad, let them know we're done here."

* * *

Tee-hee, I killed Renespawn. CB Anyway, this managed to unstick my writer's block. I started writing and I couldn't stop. You can rag on me all you want that this is immature, etc., but I wanted to finish this to show off my dhampirs. Catch the references to a certain vampire anime, and you win cookies.

Also, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is amazing. I wish Twilight had been like it. If it was it probably wouldn't have sucked so much.


End file.
